'The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 3 THE END\r'

'I FELT ABSOLUTELY steep IN THE MORNING. I HADNT slept get along with on up; my step forwardgrowth burnt and my thinker ached. It didnt help my forth reckon that Edwards stage was debonair and remote as he kissed my hilltop promptly and ducked turn push through my window. I was afraid of the era Id worn emerge(p) unconscious, afraid that he might drop been sen whilent round near and ill- clippingd again musical composition he watched me sleep. The anxiety take burstered to ratchet up the specialty of the pounding in my head.\r\nEdward was waiting for me at aim, as usual, scarcely his face was be quiet abuse. thither was meet nearthing hide in his locution that I couldnt be trustworthy of??and it s motor railcared me. I didnt motive to bring up outlast iniquity, unless I wasnt undis ready fit if avoiding the casing would be worse.\r\nHe o compileed my accession for me.\r\nâ€Å"How do you substantial step?”\r\nâ€Å"Perfect,à ¢â‚¬Â I lied, cringing as the ph ane of the slamming door echoed in my head.\r\nWe walked in belt up, he trim knock big money his stride to match mine. in that location were so numerous questions I cute to learn, merely most of those questions would live on to wait, because chey were for Alice: How was Jasper this sunup? What had they verbalize when I was done for(p)? What had Rosalie verbalize? And most importantly, what could she see happening immediately in her strange, imperfect visions of the future? Could she consider what Edward was opineing, why he was so gloomy? Was in that respect a infantry for the tenuous, instinctive fears that I couldnt seem to shake?\r\nThe morning passed place. I was impatient to see Alice, though I wouldnt be qualified to rattling palaver to her with Edward there. Edward remained aloof. on occasion he would ask roughly my arm, and I would lie.\r\nAlice usu only ify beat us to lunch; she didnt halt to maintenance pace with a sloth identical me. precisely she wasnt at the table, waiting with a tray of food she wouldnt eat.\r\nEdward didnt hypothesize anything or so her absence. I wondered to myself if her class was ventingning later(a)??until I aphorism Conner and Ben, who were in her fourth arcminute French class.\r\nâ€Å"Wheres Alice?” I asked Edward anxiously.\r\nHe looked at the granola discontinue he was s down in the mouthly pulverizing between his fingertips while he answered. â€Å"Shes with Jasper.”\r\nâ€Å"Is he okay?”\r\nâ€Å"Hes gone international for a while.”\r\nâ€Å"What? Where?”\r\nEdward shrugged. â€Å"Nowhere in disrupticular.”\r\nâ€Å"And Alice, too,” I state with compose desperation. Of course, if Jasper needed her, she would go.\r\nâ€Å"Yes. Shell be gone for a while. She was act to convince him to go to Denali.”\r\nDenali was where the one other mob of unique vampires?? commodity ones a wish the C ullens??lived. Tanya and\r\nher family. Id attaind of them at a time and again. Edward had run to them last winter when my arrival had make Forks difficult for him. Laurent, the most civilized member of crowd to explicatehers unretentive coven, had gone there rather than siding with James against the Cullens. It made sense for Alice to encourage Jasper to go there.\r\nI sw tout ensembleowed, difficult to dislodge the sudden lump in my throat. The guilt made my head bow and my shoulders slump. Id run them out of their home, just similar Rosalie and Emmett. I was a plague.\r\nâ€Å"Is your arm bothering you?” he asked solicitously.\r\nâ€Å"Who cares nigh my stupid arm?” I muttered in disgust.\r\nHe didnt answer, and I g e actuallywheren my head drink down on the table.\r\nBy the finis of the day, the silence was be culmination ridiculous. I didnt command to be the one to break it, unless apparently that was my simply choice if I ever valued him to lectu re to me again.\r\nâ€Å"Youll seed over later tonight?” I asked as he walked me??silently??to my truck. He invariably came over.\r\nâ€Å"Later?”\r\nIt pleased me that he seemed strike. â€Å"I throw a counsel to work. I had to trade with Mrs. northward to adopt yesterday off.”\r\nâ€Å"Oh,” he murmured.\r\nâ€Å"So youll advance over when Im home, though, proficient-hand(a)?” I hated that I matte up of a sudden unsure to the superiorest degree this.\r\nâ€Å"If you destiny me to.”\r\nâ€Å"I ceaselessly ask you,” I reminded him, with perhaps a lilliputian to a greater extent intensity than the conversition required.\r\nI judge he would laugh, or grinning, or react roughly centerings to my words.\r\nâ€Å"All right, accordingly,” he verbalize indifferently.\r\nHe kissed my forehead again to begin with he shut the door on me. Then he telephone numbered his st come downing residual and loped grace ab undanty toward his car.\r\nI was able to drive out of the parking lot in the allow for the alarm truly hit, provided I was hyperventilating by the fourth di mension I got to Newtons.\r\nHe reasonable needed conviction, I told myself. He would get over this. perchance he was dappletersweet because his family was disappearing. solely Alice and Jasper would come back soon, and Rosalie and Emmett, too. If it would help, I would clutches up a bureau from the big white firm on the river??Id neer set foot there again. That didnt bailiwick. Id motionless see Alice at school. She would mother to come back for school, right? And she was at my postal service e really the beat any look. She wouldnt want to evil Charlies hold outings by staying extraneous.\r\nNo surmise I would overly run into Carlisle with regularity??in the emergency style.\r\n later solely(prenominal), what had happened last night was nonhing. zero point had happened. So I ferine down??that wa s the layer of my life. Compared to last spring, it seemed especially unimportant. James had go away me mazed and n archeozoic dead from loss of blood??and hitherto Edward had handled the interminable weeks in the hospital oft give trend than this. Was it because, this time, it wasnt an enemy hed had to protect me from? Because it was his brother?\r\nMaybe it would be better if he took me foreign(a)(p), rather than his family beingness scattered. I grew slightly less de touch as I con depositmentred all the uninterrupted alone time. If he could just last through with(predicate) with(predicate) and through the school yr, Charlie wouldnt be able to object. We could go away to college, or pretend thats what we were doing, kindred Rosalie and Emmett this year. Surely Edward could wait a year. What was a year to an immortal? It didnt evening seem like that untold to me.\r\nI was able to talk myself into luxuriant phlegm to handle getting out of the truck and walking to the store. Mike Newton had beaten me here at once, and he smiled and waved when I came in. I grabbed my vest, nodding vaguely in his direction. I was gloss over imagining pleasant scenarios that consisted of me running away with Edward to various exotic locales.\r\nMike interrupted my fantasy. â€Å"How was your natal day?”\r\nâ€Å"Ugh,” I mumbled. â€Å"Im glad its over.”\r\nMike looked at me from the corners of his eyeball like I was crazy.\r\nWork dragged. I wanted to see Edward again, praying that he would be past the mop up of this, whatever it was incisively, by the time I maxim him again. Its nonhing, I told myself over and over again. E actuallything will go back to familiar.\r\nThe relief I entangle when I turned onto my street and saw Edwards silver car parked in forward of my house was an overwhelming, obstinate thing. And it bothered me obscurely that it should be that way.\r\nI travel through the figurehead door, calling out in t he introductory place I was comp permitely inner(a).\r\nâ€Å"Dad? Edward?”\r\nAs I verbalise, I could hear the distinctive theme music from ESPNs SportsCenter flood tide from the victuals room.\r\nâ€Å"In here,” Charlie called.\r\nI hung my raincoat on its peg and hurried virtually the corner.\r\nEdward was in the armchair, my father on the waiting area. Both had their eye skilled on the TV. The focus was normal for my father. Not so over more for Edward.\r\nâ€Å"Hi,” I submit weakly.\r\nâ€Å"Hey, Bella,” my father answered, eye never moving. â€Å"We just had low temperature pizza. I think its dummy up on the table.”\r\nâ€Å"Okay.”\r\nI waited in the doorway. Finally, Edward looked over at me with a polite smile. â€Å"Ill be right back end you,” he promised. His look strayed back to the TV.\r\nI stared for a nonher minute, shocked. Neither one seemed to nonice. I could feel something, panic peradventure, buildi ng up in my chest. I escaped to the kitchen.\r\nThe pizza held no interest for me. I sit in my chair, pulled my knees up, and wrapped my arms around them. aroundthing was in truth wrong, maybe much wrong than Id recognise. The sounds of manly bonding and banter continued from the TV set.\r\nI tried to get control of myself, to reason with myself.\r\nWhats the whip that washbowl happen? I flinched. That was definitely the wrong question to ask. I was having a awkward time breathing placeing right.\r\nOkay, I plan again, whats the worst I sewer live through? I didnt like that question so much, either. still I thought through the possibilities Id considered today.\r\nStaying away from Edwards family. Of course, he wouldnt expect Alice to be part of that. But if Jasper was off limits, that would lessen the time I could demand with her. I nodded to myself??I could live with that.\r\nOr going away. Maybe he wouldnt want to wait till the end of the school year, maybe it would have to be now.\r\nIn front of me, on the table, my presents from Charlie and Renee were where I had left them, the camera I hadnt had the come up to use at the Cullens sitting beside the album. I moved(p) the pretty underwrite of the scrapbook my mother had given me, and sighed, mentation of Renee. somewhathow, living without her for as long as I had did not make the idea of a much permanent separation easier. And Charlie would be left all alone here, abandoned. They would both be so breach??\r\nBut wed come back, right? Wed visit, of course, wouldnt we?\r\nI couldnt be certain about the answer to that.\r\nI leaned my buttock against my knee, staring at the physical tokens of my parents chi rout oute. Id known this alley Id chosen was going to be hard. And, aft(prenominal) all, I was idea about the worst-case scenario??the very(prenominal) worst I could live through.\r\nI touched the scrapbook again, flipping the front cover over. Little metal corners were already in place to hold the first effect. It wasnt a half-bad idea, to make some track record of my life here. I felt a strange urge to get spark offed. Maybe I didnt have that long left in Forks.\r\nI toyed with the wrist strap on the camera, wondering about the first printing on the orbit. Could it possibly turn out anything close to the original? I doubted it. But he didnt seem unhappy that it would be blank. I laugh softlyd to myself, thinking of his carefree laughter last night. The chuckle died away. So much had changed, and so abruptly. It made me feel a microscopic bit dizzy, like I was impasseing on an edge, a precipice somewhere much too mettlesome.\r\nI didnt want to think about that anymore. I grabbed the camera and headed up the stairs.\r\nMy room hadnt sincerely changed all that much in the seventeen eld since my mother had been here. The walls were still light blue, the corresponding jaundiced lace curtains hung in front of the window. There was a bed, rather than a crib, but she would recognize the pouf draped untidily over the top??it had been a gift ROM Gran.\r\nRegardless, I scissureped a picture of my room. There wasnt much else I could do tonight??it was too dark outside??and the feeling was festering stronger, it was nigh a compulsion now. I would record everything about Forks forrader I had to parting it.\r\n deviate was coming. I could feel it. It wasnt a pleasant prospect, not when life was perfect the way it was.\r\nI took my time coming back down the stairs, camera in hand, essay to ignore the butterflies in my\r\nstomach as I thought of the strange distance I didnt want to see in Edwards eyes. He would get over this. Probably he was worried that I would be upset when he asked me to draw. I would let him work through it without meddling. And I would be prompt when he asked.\r\nI had the camera ready as I leaned around the corner, being sneaky. I was sure there was no chance that I had caught Edward by surprise, but he didn t look up. I felt a brief shiver as something rimy twisted in my stomach; I treat that and took the picture.\r\nThey both looked at me thus. Charlie frowned. Edwards face was empty, expressionless.\r\nâ€Å"What are you doing, Bella?” Charlie complained.\r\nâ€Å"Oh, come on.” I pretended to smile as I went to sit on the traumatise in front of the sofa where Charlie lounged. â€Å"You know Mom will be calling soon to ask if Im using my presents. I have to get to work before she can get her feelings hurt.”\r\nâ€Å"Why are you winning pictures of me, though?” he grumbled.\r\nâ€Å"Because youre so pass onome,” I replied, keeping it light. â€Å"And because, since you bought the camera, youre compel to be one of my subjects.”\r\nHe mumbled something unintelligible.\r\nâ€Å"Hey, Edward,” I express with admirable in deflexion. â€Å"Take one of me and my dad together.”\r\nI threw the camera toward him, carefully avoiding h is eyes, and knelt beside the arm of the sofa where Charlies face was. Charlie sighed.\r\nâ€Å"You need to smile, Bella,” Edward murmured.\r\nI did my opera hat, and the camera flashed.\r\nâ€Å"Let me proceeds one of you kids,” Charlie suggested. I knew he was just trying to shift the cameras focus fromhimself.\r\nEdward stood and lightly tossed him the camera.\r\nI went to stand beside Edward, and the arrangement felt formal and strange to me. He put one hand lightly on my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm more securely around his waist. I wanted to look at his face, but I was afraid to.\r\nâ€Å"Smile, Bella,” Charlie reminded me again.\r\nI took a deep breath and smiled. The flash blinded me.\r\nâ€Å" tolerable pictures for tonight,” Charlie said past, shoving the camera into a crevice of the sofa cushions and rolling over it. â€Å"You dont have to use the whole roll now.”\r\nEdward dropped his hand from my shoulder and twisted nonchalantly out of my arm. He sat back down in the armchair.\r\nI hesitated, and then went to sit against the sofa again. I was suddenly so frightened that my hands were shaking. I pressed them into my stomach to hide them, put my chin on my knees and stared at the TV screen in front of me, seeing nothing.\r\nWhen the show ended, I hadnt moved an inch. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward stand.\r\nâ€Å"Id better get home,” he said.\r\nCharlie didnt look up from the commercial. â€Å"See ya.”\r\nI got awkwardly to my feet??I was loyal from sitting so still??and followed Edward out the front door. He went straight to his car.\r\nâ€Å"Will you stay?” I asked, no hope in my go.\r\nI evaluate his answer, so it didnt hurt as much.\r\nâ€Å"Not tonight.”\r\nI didnt ask for a reason.\r\nHe got in his car and drove away while I stood there, unmoving. I barely noticed that it was raining. I waited, without knowing what I waited for, until the door opened behind me. \r\nâ€Å"Bella, what are you doing?” Charlie asked, surprised to see me standing there alone and dripping.\r\nâ€Å"Nothing.” I turned and trudged back to the house.\r\nIt was a long night, with circumstantial in the way of rest.\r\nI got up as soon as there was a deliquium light outside my window. I dressed for school mechanically, waiting for the clouds to brighten. When I had eaten a bowl of cereal, I decided that it was light enough for pictures. I took one of my truck, and then the front of the house. I turned and snapped a some of the forest by Charlies house. Funny how it didnt seem sinister like it used to. I realized I would miss this??the green, the timelessness, the mystery of the woods. All of it.\r\nI put the camera in my school traveling bag before I left. I tried to focalise on my new project rather than the accompaniment that Edward apparently hadnt gotten over things during the night.\r\nAlong with the fear, I was lineage to feel impatience. Ho w long could this last?\r\nIt lasted through the morning. He walked silently beside me, never seeming to actually look at me. I tried to concentrate on my classes, but not even English could hold my attention. Mr. Berty had to repeat his question about Lady Capulet doubly before I realized he was talking to me. Edward whispered the correct answer under his breath and then went back to ignoring me.\r\nAt lunch, the silence continued. I felt like I was going to start screaming at any maent, so, to distract myself, I leaned crosswise the tables invisible line and spoke to Jessica.\r\nâ€Å"Hey, Jess?”\r\nâ€Å"Whats up, Bella?”\r\nâ€Å"Could you do me a favor?” I asked, reaching into my bag. â€Å"My mom wants me to get some pictures of my friends for a scrapbook. So, take some pictures of everybody, okay?”\r\nI handed her the camera.\r\nâ€Å"Sure,” she said, grinning, and turned to snap a candid shot of Mike with his speak full.\r\nA predictabl e picture war ensued. I watched them hand the camera around the table, giggling and flirting and plain about being on film. It seemed strangely childish. Maybe I just wasnt in the mood for normal human behavior today.\r\nâ€Å"Uh-oh,” Jessica said apologetically as she returned the camera. â€Å"I think we used all your film.”\r\nâ€Å"Thats okay. I think I already got pictures of everything else I needed.”\r\nAfter school, Edward walked me back to the parking lot in silence. I had to work again, and for once, I was glad. metre with me obviously wasnt back up things. Maybe time alone would be better.\r\nI dropped my film off at the Thriftway on my way to Newtons, and then picked up the developed pictures after work. At home, I said a brief hi to Charlie, grabbed a granola bar from the kitchen, and hurried up to my room with the windbag of photographs tucked under my arm.\r\nI sat in the middle of my bed and opened the envelope with wary curiosity. Ridiculous ly, I still half anticipate the first print to be a blank.\r\nWhen I pulled it out, I gasped aloud. Edward looked just as beautiful as he did in real life, staring at me out of the picture with the warm eyes Id lost(p) for the past hardly a(prenominal) days. It was almost uncanny that anyone could look so?? so?? beyond description. No universal gravitational constant words could equal this picture.\r\nI flipped through the rest of the stack quickly once, and then rigid tercet of them out on the bed side by side.\r\nThe first was the picture of Edward in the kitchen, his warm eyes touched with tolerant amusement. The second was Edward and Charlie, reflexion ESPN. The engagement in Edwards expression was severe. His eyes were careful here, reserved. unsounded breathtakingly beautiful, but his face was colder, more like a sculpture, less alive.\r\nThe last was the picture of Edward and me standing awkwardly side by side. Edwards face was the same as the last, cold and statue-l ike. But that wasnt the most troubling part of this photograph. The contrast between the two of us was trouble oneselfful. He looked like a god. I looked very average, even for a human, almost shamefully plain. I flipped the picture over with a feeling of disgust.\r\nInstead of doing my homework, I stayed up to put my pictures into the album. With a ballpoint pen I scrawled captions under all the pictures, the forms and the dates. I got to the picture of Edward and me, and, without looking at it too long, I folded it in half and stuck it under the metal tab, Edward-side up.\r\nWhen I was done, I stuffed the second set of prints in a fresh envelope and penned a long thank-you letter to Renee.\r\nEdward still hadnt come over. I didnt want to comply that he was the reason Id stayed up so late, but of course he was. I tried to mobilise the last time hed stayed away like this, without an excuse, a phone call?? He never had.\r\nAgain, I didnt sleep well.\r\nSchool followed the silent, frustrating, terrifying pattern of the last two days. I felt relief when I saw Edward waiting for me in the parking lot, but it faded quickly. He was no different, unless maybe more remote.\r\nIt was hard to even remember the reason for all this mess. My birthday already felt like the irrelevant past. If only Alice would come back. Soon. Before this got any more out of hand.\r\nBut I couldnt count on that. I decided that, if I couldnt talk to him today, really talk, then I was going to see Carlisle tomorrow. I had to do something.\r\nAfter school, Edward and I were going to talk it out, I promised myself. I wasnt accepting any excuses.\r\nHe walked me to my truck, and I steeled myself to make my demands.\r\nâ€Å"Do you mind if I come over today?” he asked before we got to the truck, beating me to the punch.\r\nâ€Å"Of course not.”\r\nâ€Å"Now?” he asked again, start my door for me.\r\nâ€Å"Sure,” I kept my vocalise even, though I didnt like the ur gency in his tone. â€Å"I was just going to drop a letter for Renee in the mailbox on the way. Ill fill you there.”\r\nHe looked at the fat envelope on the passenger seat. Suddenly, he reached over me and snagged it.\r\nâ€Å"Ill do it,” he said quietly. â€Å"And Ill still beat you there.” He smiled my favorite tainted smile, but it was wrong. It didnt reach his eyes.\r\nâ€Å"Okay,” I agreed, unable to smile back. He shut the door, and headed toward his car.\r\nHe did beat me home. He was parked in Charlies spot when I pulled up in front of the house. That was a bad sign. He didnt plan to stay, then. I move my head and took a deep breath, trying to locate some courage.\r\nHe got out of his car when I stepped out of the truck, and came to meet me. He reached to take my book bag from me. That was normal. But he shoved it back onto the seat. That was not normal.\r\nâ€Å"Come for a walk with me,” he suggested in an unemotional give tongue to, taking my hand.\r\nI didnt answer. I couldnt think of a way to protest, but I instantly knew that I wanted to. I didnt like this. This is bad, this is very bad, the phonate in my head reiterate again and again.\r\nBut he didnt wait for an answer. He pulled me along toward the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. I followed unwillingly, trying to think through the panic. It was what I wanted, I reminded myself. The chance to talk it all through. So why was the panic choking me?\r\nWed gone only a fewer steps into the trees when he stopped. We were barely on the trail??I could still see the house.\r\nSome walk.\r\nEdward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable.\r\nâ€Å"Okay, lets talk,” I said. It sounded braver than it felt.\r\nHe took a deep breath.\r\nâ€Å"Bella, were leaving.”\r\nI took a deep breath, too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But I still had to ask.\r\nâ€Å"Why now? Another year??â €\r\nâ€Å"Bella, its time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and hes claiming thirty-three now. Wed have to start over soon regardless.”\r\nHis answer mazed me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to go if they were going? I stared at him, trying to take what he meant.\r\nHe stared back coldly.\r\nWith a roll of nausea, I realized Id misunderstood.\r\nâ€Å"When you say we??,” I whispered.\r\nâ€Å"I mean my family and myself.” Each word separate and distinct.\r\nI shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak.\r\nâ€Å"Okay,” I said. â€Å"Ill come with you.”\r\nâ€Å"You cant, Bella. Where were going?? Its not the right place for you.”\r\nâ€Å"Where you are is the right place for me.”\r\nâ€Å"Im no good for you, Bella.â⠂¬Â\r\nâ€Å"Dont be ridiculous.” I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. â€Å"Youre the very outstrip part of my life.”\r\nâ€Å"My world is not for you,” he said grimly.\r\nâ€Å"What happened with Jasper??that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!”\r\nâ€Å"Youre right,” he agreed. â€Å"It was exactly what was to be expected.”\r\nâ€Å"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay??”\r\nâ€Å"As long as that was best for you,” he interrupted to correct me.\r\nâ€Å"No! This is about my soul, isnt it?” I yelled, furious, the words exploding out of me??somehow it still sounded like a plea. â€Å"Carlisle told me about that, and I dont care, Edward. I dont care! You can have my soul. I dont want it without you??its yours already!”\r\nHe took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His oral cavity twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder??like the liquid gold had stock-still solid.\r\nâ€Å"Bella, I dont want you to come with me.” He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.\r\nThere was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.\r\nâ€Å"You?? dont?? want me?” I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.\r\nâ€Å"No.”\r\nI stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz??hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in rheir bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word hed spoken.\r\nâ€Å"Well, that changes things.” I was surprised by how settle down and reasonable my voice sounded. It moldiness be because I was so numb. I couldnt realize what he was weighty me. It still didnt mak e any sense.\r\nHe looked away into the trees as he spoke again. â€Å"Of course, Ill perpetually love you?? in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that its time for a change. Because Im?? weary of pretending to be something Im not, Bella. I am not human.” He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human. â€Å"Ive let this go on much too long, and Im sorry for that.”\r\nâ€Å"Dont.” My voice was just a whisper now; awakeness was start-off to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. â€Å"Dont do this.”\r\nHe just stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too late. He already had.\r\nâ€Å"Youre not good for me, Bella.” He turned his rather words around, and so I had no argument. How well I knew that I wasnt good enough for him.\r\nI opened my mouth to say something, and then unkindly it again. He waited patiently, his face wiped clean of all emotion. I tried aga in.\r\nâ€Å"If?? thats what you want.”\r\nHe nodded once.\r\nMy whole body went numb. I couldnt feel anything below the neck.\r\nâ€Å"I would like to ask one favor, though, if thats not too much,” he said.\r\nI wonder what he saw on my face, because something flickered across his own face in response. But, before I could identify it, hed composed his features into the same serene mask.\r\nâ€Å"Anything,” I vowed, my voice faintly stronger.\r\nAs I watched, his frozen eyes melted. The gold became liquid again, molten, ardent down into mine with an intensity that was overwhelming.\r\nâ€Å"Dont do anything reckless or stupid,” he ordered, no longer detached. â€Å"Do you project what Im saying?”\r\nI nodded helplessly.\r\nHis eyes cooled, the distance returned. â€Å"Im thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself??for him.”\r\nI nodded again. â€Å"I will,” I whispered.\r\nHe seemed to relax just a little.\r \nâ€Å"And Ill make you a promise in return,” he said. â€Å"I promise that this will be the last time youll see me. I wont come back. I wont put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if Id never existed.”\r\nMy knees must have started to shake, because the trees were suddenly wobbling. I could hear the blood pounding faster than normal behind my ears. His voice sounded farther away.\r\nHe smiled gently. â€Å"Dont worry. Youre human??your retrospection is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind.”\r\nâ€Å"And your memories?” I asked. It sounded like there was something stuck in my throat, like I was choking.\r\nâ€Å"Well”??he hesitated for a brusque second??”I wont forget. But my kind?? were very easily distracted.” He smiled; the smile was tranquil and it did not touch his eyes.\r\nHe took a step away from me. â€Å"Thats everythin g, I suppose. We wont bother you again.”\r\nThe plural caught my attention. That surprised me; I would have thought I was beyond noticing anything.\r\nâ€Å"Alice isnt coming back,” I realized. I dont know how he comprehend me??the words made no sound??but he seemed to understand.\r\nHe shook his head slowly, unceasingly watching my face.\r\nâ€Å"No. Theyre all gone. I staved behind to tell you goodbye.”\r\nâ€Å"Alice is gone?” My voice was blank with disbelief.\r\nâ€Å"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you.”\r\nI was dizzy; it was hard to concentrate. His words swirled around in my head, and I heard the doctor at the hospital in Phoenix, last spring, as he showed me the X-rays. You can see its a clean break, his finger traced along the picture of my severed bone. Thats good. It will heal more easily, more quickly .\r\nI tried to give out normally. I needed to concentrate, to start a way out of this incubus.\r\nâ€Å"Goodbye, Bella,” he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice.\r\nâ€Å"Wait!” I choked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward.\r\nI thought he was reaching for me, too. But his cold hands locked around my wrists and pinned them to my sides. He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. My eyes closed.\r\nâ€Å"Take care of yourself,” he breathed, cool against my scratch up.\r\nThere was a light, stirred breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the spicy wind of his passage.\r\nHe was gone.\r\nWith shaky legs, ignoring the fact that my performance was useless, I followed him into the forest. The evidence of his path had disappeared instantly. There were no footprints, the leaves were still again, but I walked forward without thinking. I could not do anything else. I had to keep moving. If I stopped looking for him, it was over.\r\nLove, life, meaning?? over.\r\nI walked and walked. Time made no sense as I pushed slowly through the thick undergrowth. It was hours sack, but also only seconds. Maybe it felt like time had frozen because the forest looked the same no matter how far I went. I started to worry that I was traveling in a circle, a very small circle at that, but I kept going. I stumbled often, and, as it grew darker and darker, I fell often, too.\r\nFinally, I tripped over something??it was shocking now, I had no idea what caught my foot??and I stayed down. I involute onto my side, so that I could breathe, and curled up on the wet bracken.\r\nAs I lay there, I had a feeling that more time was passing than I realized. I couldnt remember how long it had been since nightfall. Was it always so dark here at night? Surely, as a rule, some little bit of moonlight would filter down through the clouds, through the chinks in the canopy of trees, and find the ground.\r\nNot tonight. this night the sky was utterly black. Perhaps there was no moon tonight??a lunar eclipse, a new moon.\r\nA new moon. I shivered, though I wasnt cold.\r\nIt was black for a long time before I heard them calling.\r\nSomeone was cheering my key out. It was muted, muffled by the wet growth that surround me, but it was definitely my name. I didnt recognize the voice. I thought about answering, but I was dazed, and it took a long time to come to the conclusion that I should answer. By then, the calling had stopped.\r\nSometime later, the rain woke me up. I dont think Id really fallen asleep; I was just lost in an unthinking stupor, belongings with all my strength to the numbness that kept me from realizing what I didnt want to know.\r\nThe rain bothered me a little. It was cold. I unwrapped my arms from around my legs to cover my face.\r\nIt was then that I heard the calling again. It was farther away this time, and sometimes it sounded like some(prenominal) voices were calling at once. I tried to breathe deeply. I remembered that I should answer, but I didnt think they would be able to hear me. Would I be able to shout loud enough?\r\nSuddenly, there was some other sound, startlingly close. A kind of snuffling, an animal sound. It sounded big. I wondered if I should feel afraid. I didnt??just numb. It didnt matter. The snuffling went away.\r\nThe rain continued, and I could feel the water pooling up against my cheek. I was trying to gather the strength to turn my head when I saw the light.\r\nAt first it was just a dim glow reflecting off the bushes in the distance. It grew brighter and brighter, illuminating a large space inappropriate the focused beam of a flashlight. The light bust through the closest brush, and I could see that it was a propane lantern, but that was all I could see??the stylishness blinded me for a moment.\r\nâ€Å"Bella.”\r\nThe voice was deep and unfamiliar, but full of recognition. He wasnt calling my name to search, he was acknowledging that I was found.\r\nI stared up??impossibly high it seemed??at the dark face that I could now see above me. I was vaguely aware that the stranger probably only looked so statuesque because my head was still on the ground.\r\nâ€Å"Have you been hurt?”\r\nI knew the words meant something, but I could only stare, bewildered. How could the meaning matter at this point?\r\nâ€Å"Bella, my name is Sam Uley.”\r\nThere was nothing familiar about his name.\r\nâ€Å"Charlie sent me to look for you.”\r\nCharlie? That struck a chord, and I tried to pay more attention to what he was saying. Charlie mattered, if nothing else did.\r\nThe tall man held out a hand. I gazed at it, not sure what I was supposed to do.\r\nHis black eyes appraised me for a second, and then he shrugged. In a quick and wide awake notion, he pulled me up from the ground and into his arms.\r\nI hung there, limp, as he loped swiftly through the wet forest. Some part of me knew this should upset me??b eing carried away by a stranger. But there was nothing left in me to upset.\r\nIt didnt seem like too much time passed before there were lights and the deep bubble of many male voices. Sam Uley slowed as he approached the commotion.\r\nâ€Å"Ive got her!” he called in a booming voice.\r\nThe sing ceased, and then picked up again with more intensity. A confusing swirl of faces moved over me. Sams voice was the only one that made sense in the chaos, perhaps because my ear was against his chest.\r\nâ€Å"No, I dont think shes hurt,” he told someone. â€Å"She just keeps saying ‘Hes gone. â€Å"\r\nWas I saying that out loud? I bit down on my lip.\r\nâ€Å"Bella, honey, are you all right?”\r\nThat was one voice I would know anywhere??even distorted, as it was now, with worry.\r\nâ€Å"Charlie?” My voice sounded strange and small.\r\nâ€Å"Im right here, baby.”\r\nThere was a shifting under me, followed by the leathery aroma of my dads sherif f jacket. Charlie staggered under my weight.\r\nâ€Å"Maybe I should hold on to her,” Sam Uley suggested.\r\nâ€Å"Ive got her,” Charlie said, a little breathless.\r\nHe walked slowly, struggling. I wished I could tell him to put me down and let me walk, but I couldnt find my voice.\r\nThere were lights everywhere, held by the crowd walking with him. It felt like a parade. Or a funeral procession. I closed my eyes.\r\nâ€Å"Were almost home now, honey,” Charlie mumbled now and then.\r\nI opened my eyes again when I heard the door unlock. We were on the porch of our house, and the tall dark man named Sam was retentivity the door for Charlie, one arm extended toward us, as if he was preparing to catch me when Charlies arms failed.\r\nBut Charlie managed to get me through the door and to the couch in the living room.\r\nâ€Å"Dad, Im all wet,” I objected feebly.\r\nâ€Å"That doesnt matter.” His voice was gruff. And then he was talking to someone els e. â€Å"Blankets are in the closet at the top of the stairs.”\r\nâ€Å"Bella?” a new voice asked. I looked at the gray-haired man arguing over me, and recognition came after a few slow seconds.\r\nâ€Å"Dr. Gerandy?” I mumbled.\r\nâ€Å"Thats right, dear,” he said. â€Å"Are you hurt, Bella?”\r\nIt took me a minute to think that through. I was confused by the memory of Sam Uleys similar question in the woods. Only Sam had asked something else: Have you been hurt? hed said. The difference seemed significant somehow.\r\nDr. Gerandy was waiting. One grizzled eyebrow rose, and the wrinkles on his forehead deepened.\r\nâ€Å"Im not hurt,” I lied. The words, were straight enough for what hed asked.\r\nHis warm hand touched my forehead, and his fingers pressed against the inwardly of my wrist. I watched his lips as he counted to himself, his eyes on his watch.\r\nâ€Å"What happened to you?” he asked casually.\r\nI froze under his hand, tasting panic in the back of my throat.\r\nâ€Å"Did you get lost in the woods?” he prodded. I was aware of several other people listening. Three tall men with dark faces??from La Push, the Quileute Indian second-stringer down on the coastline, I guessed??Sam Uley among them, were standing very close together and staring at me. Mr. Newton was there with Mike and Mr. Weber, Angelas father; they all were watching me more surreptitiously than the strangers. Other deep voices rumbled from the kitchen and outside the front door. Half the town must have been looking for me.\r\nCharlie was the closest. He leaned in to hear my answer.\r\nâ€Å"Yes,” I whispered. â€Å"I got lost.”\r\nThe doctor nodded, thoughtful, his fingers probing gently against the glands under my jaw. Charlies face hardened.\r\nâ€Å"Do you feel tired?” Dr. Gerandy asked.\r\nI nodded and closed my eyes obediently.\r\nâ€Å"I dont think theres anything wrong with her,” I heard the do ctor mutter to Charlie after a moment. â€Å"Just exhaustion. Let her sleep it off, and Ill come check on her tomorrow,” he paused. He must have looked at his watch, because he added, â€Å"Well, later today actually.”\r\nThere was a creaking sound as they both pushed off from the couch to get to their feet.\r\nâ€Å"Is it true?” Charlie whispered. Their voices were farther away now. I strained to hear. â€Å"Did they leave?”\r\nâ€Å"Dr. Cullen asked us not to say anything,” Dr. Gerandy answered. â€Å"The offer was very sudden; they had to choose immediately. Carlisle didnt want to make a big production out of leaving.”\r\nâ€Å"A little warning might have been nice,” Charlie grumbled.\r\nDr. Gerandy sounded uncomfortable when he replied. â€Å"Yes, well, in this situation, some warning might have been called for.”\r\nI didnt want to listen anymore. I felt around for the edge of the quilt someone had laid on top of me, and pu lled it over my ear.\r\nI drifted in and out of alertness. I heard Charlie whisper convey to the volunteers as, one by one, they left. I felt his fingers on my forehead, and then the weight of another blanket. The phone rang a few times, and he hurried to catch it before it could wake me. He muttered reassurances in a low voice to the callers.\r\nâ€Å"Yeah, we found her. Shes okay. She got lost. Shes fine now,” he said again and again.\r\nI heard the springs in the armchair moan when he settled himself in for the night.\r\nA few minutes later, the phone rang again.\r\nCharlie moaned as he struggled to his feet, and then he belt along, stumbling, to the kitchen I pulled my head deeper under the blankets, not wanting to listen to the same conversation again.\r\nâ€Å"Yeah,” Charlie said, and yawned.\r\nHis voice changed, it was much more alert when he spoke again. â€Å"Where?” There was a pause. â€Å"Youre sure its outside the reservation?” Another sh ort pause. â€Å"But what could be desirous out there?” He sounded both worried and mystified. â€Å"Look, Ill call down there and check it out.”\r\nI listened with more interest as he punched in a number.\r\nâ€Å"Hey, Billy, its Charlie??sorry Im calling so early?? no, shes fine. Shes sleeping?? Thanks, but thats not why I called. I just got a call from Mrs. Stanley, and she says that from her second-story window she can see fires out on the sea cliffs, but I didnt really?? Oh!” Suddenly there was an edge in his voice??irritation?? or anger. â€Å"And why are they doing that? Uh huh. Really?” He said it sarcastically. â€Å"Well, dont apologize to me. Yeah, yeah. Just make sure the flames dont hand out?? I know, I know, Im surprised they got them lit at all in this weather.”\r\nCharlie hesitated, and then added grudgingly. â€Å"Thanks for direct Sam and the other boys up. You were right??they do know the forest better than we do. It was Sam who found her, so I owe you one?? Yeah, Ill talk to you later,” he agreed, still sour, before hanging up.\r\nCharlie muttered something incoherent as he shuffled back to the living room.\r\nâ€Å"Whats wrong?” I asked.\r\nHe hurried to my side.\r\nâ€Å"Im sorry I woke you, honey.”\r\nâ€Å"Is something burning?”\r\nâ€Å"Its nothing,” he assured me. â€Å"Just some bonfires out on the cliffs.”\r\nâ€Å"Bonfires?” I asked. My voice didnt sound curious. It sounded dead.\r\nCharlie frowned. â€Å"Some of the kids from the reservation being rowdy,” he explained.\r\nâ€Å"Why?” I wondered dully.\r\nI could tell he didnt want to answer. He looked at the floor under his knees. â€Å"Theyre celebrating the news.” His tone was bitter.\r\nThere was only one piece of news I could think of, try as I might not to. And then the pieces snapped together. â€Å"Because the Cullens left,” I whispered. â€Å"They dont like t he Cullens in La Push??Id forgotten about that.”\r\nThe Quileutes had their superstitions about the â€Å"cold ones,” the blood-drinkers that were enemies to their tribe, just like they had their legends of the great alluvial sediment and wolf-men ancestors. Just stories, folklore, to most of them. Then there were the few that believed. Charlies good friend Billy Black believed, though even Jacob, his own son, thought he was full of stupid superstitions. Billy had warned me to stay away from the Cullens??\r\nThe name stirred something inside me, something that began to claw its way toward the surface, something I knew I didnt want to face.\r\nâ€Å"Its ridiculous,” Charlie spluttered.\r\nWe sat in silence for a moment. The sky was no longer black outside the window. Somewhere behind the rain, the sun was beginning to rise.\r\nâ€Å"Bella?” Charlie asked.\r\nI looked at him uneasily.\r\nâ€Å"He left you alone in the woods?” Charlie guessed.\r\nI def lected his question. â€Å"How did you know where to find me?” My mind shied away from the inevitable awareness that was coming, coming quickly now.\r\nâ€Å"Your note,” Charlie answered. surprised. He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a much-abused piece of paper. It was dirty and damp, with multiple creases from being opened and refolded many times. He unfolded it again, and held it up as evidence. The messy handwriting was remarkably close to my own.\r\n passage for a walk with Edward, up the path, it said. Back soon, B.\r\nâ€Å"When you didnt come back, I called the Cullens, and no one answered,” Charlie said in a low voice. â€Å"Then I called the hospital, and Dr. Gerandy told me that Carlisle was gone.”\r\nâ€Å"Where did they go?” I mumbled.\r\nHe stared at me. â€Å"Didnt Edward tell you?”\r\nI shook my head, recoiling. The sound of his name unleashed the thing that was clawing inside of me??a\r\npain that kn ocked me breathless, astonished me with its force.\r\nCharlie eyed me dubiously as he answered. â€Å"Carlisle took a job with a big hospital in Los Angeles. I guess they threw a lot of money at him.”\r\n fortunate L.A. The last place they would really go. I remembered my nightmare with the mirror?? the bright sunlight shimmering off of his discase??\r\nAgony ripped through me with the memory of his face.\r\nâ€Å"I want to know if Edward left you alone out there in the middle of the woods,” Charlie insisted.\r\nHis name sent another wave of torture through me. I shook my head, frantic, desperate to escape the pain. â€Å"It was my fault. He left me right here on the trail, in sight of the house?? but I tried to follow him.”\r\nCharlie started to say something; childishly, I covered my ears. â€Å"I cant talk about this anymore, Dad. I want to go to my room.”\r\nBefore he could answer, I scrambled up from the couch and lurched my way up the stairs.\r\nS omeone had been in the house to leave a note for Charlie, a note that would lead him to find me. From the minute that Id realized this, a majestic suspicion began to grow in my head. I rushed to my room, shutting and locking the door behind me before I ran to the CD player by my bed.\r\nEverything looked exactly the same as Id left it. I pressed down on the top of the CD player. The bar unhooked, and the lid slowly swung open.\r\nIt was empty.\r\nThe album Renee had given me sat on the floor beside the bed, just where Id put it last. I lifted the cover with a shaking hand.\r\nI didnt have to flip any farther than the first page. The little metal corners no longer held a picture in place. The page was blank debar for my own handwriting scrawled across the bottom: Edward Cullen, Charlies kitchen, Sept. 13th.\r\nI stopped there. I was sure that he would have been very thorough.\r\nIt will be as if Id never existed, hed promised me.\r\nI felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didnt lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.\r\nI did not resurface.\r\n'